A Vietnamese Guide to Animal Cruelty

Last time you left me, I was about to board a sleeper bus to Nha Trang. You may remember that I wasn't particularly enthused by the prospect, but the journey itself actually wasn't too bad. I took an anti-histamine prior to settling down (not recommended by medics!), and I pretty much knocked out for the duration of the journey. The most amusing moment of the journey was when one of the Vietnamese drivers grabbed the bed next to mine, and the whole journey we were silently fighting over him trying to cross the dividing line between the two beds. He would place a foot over the border, and I would immediately kick him back. Eventually, this culminated in me turning on the overhead lights at 3am and pretending to read, but just doing so in order to increase his annoyance. I think the man took particular pleasure in shaking me awake the following morning.

Nha Trang is a beach town with a largeish expat population, numerous Italian restaurants and Western bars, and not a lot else. As a result, I spent two full days lying on the beach, eating fresh bananas, taking the occassional swim, and trying to make headway through my thousand page 1920s history of the world.

The beach itself was decent, not quite as nice as the one at Hoi An, but somewhat ruined by the beach peddlars trying to flog me sunglasses, paintings, lobsters, beer, massages, books, and a number of other useless items. This would have been bearable had it not been happening every other minute. In addition, whilst the weather was beautiful for the majority of the day, from 4pm onwards, the heavens opened, and the rain didn't abate til the next morning. Kind of annoying on a beach paradise.

By the third day, we were crying out for something cultural, or even slightly different, and for this reason, we booked ourselves on an island tour. The tour promised an opportunity to feed local ostrich and deer, to see an "elephant and bear show", to visit Monkey Island, and to see a "dog, goat and monkey show".

We boarded the boat at the ungodly hour of 9am, to be greeted by about 40 Vietnamese faces, complete with screaming kids. Our first stop was to feed the ostriches and the deer, and I can honestly say that this felt like a primary school trip to the farm. We were provided with animal feed, given some rules and regulations, and had 45 minutes to feed the animals - riveting!

We got back on the boat and headed to the next island for the animal show. When they say that Asian countries treat animals badly, its a bit of an understatement! We were subjected to displays of bears juggling footballs, riding bicycles, riding a moped, and all the while wearing dresses. How the hell do you get a bear to ride a motorbike?! Not in a nice way, I assure you! All the while, the Vietnamese people were loving it, as the three of us looked on in horror. The elephant was made to play football, jump over some people lying on the floor and some other un-elephant like tasks.

The rest of the day continued like this. We saw monkeys in wedding dresses, being led on a carriage by two dogs. We saw goats(!!) doing tricks, and other stupidities! It was a day that the RSPCA wouldn't have been amused with!!

Following on from this experience, and the incessant afternoon rain, we decided that it was time to move on from Nha Trang into the next city, Dalat.